Keeping it Together
I have a love hate relationship with the New York Times Magazine. Every Sunday morning, I eagerly settle down with my coffee, favorite pencil, special eraser, and the crossword puzzle. After an hour, I’ve thrown the pencil on the ground 18 times, erased so much that the paper is worn thin, and started wondering (again) if perhaps people just talk to me at parties out of pity because I’m a drooling moron.
This week I got an unexpected little ego boost when I turned to The Way We Eat (login required) and read about sauces and vinaigrettes. I may not know who Architect William van ____ is (15 down – please email holdtheraisins@yahoo.com with the answer) but I can emulsify like nobody’s business.
Before culinary school, I was a timid emulsifier. I’d give my salad dressing a few cautious stirs, shake it up a bit, and hope for the best. Now, I’m like mustard. I can bring a sauce together with only a big bowl, my trusty whisk, and my scrawny triceps.
The article claims that tricky sauces and soufflés require “a solid foundation, a meticulously followed blueprint and dogged optimism – or an unshakable ego.” I have none of those things. I never have the proper ingredients and I’m too much of a slacker to measure very carefully. Ego is not on my side; every time I make an emulsified sauce, I am filled with grave doubts throughout the process. The neighbors can probably hear me shouting to my husband from the kitchen: “no hollandaise for you!” or “stiff peaks my a**!” Nevertheless, it usually comes together in the end.
If you want to practice, try making your own mayonnaise. The ingredients are relatively cheap, so even if you don’t use it, you don’t have to feel too guilty tossing it out.
Lawyer-type warning: Mayo is made with raw egg yolks, so you could get all sorts of nasty poisoning, especially if you are sick or pregnant or elderly. You can use pasteurized yolk product from the grocery store, which is a much safer alternative and is often used in restaurants that make their own mayo. If you are willing to take the risk and eat your raw yolk mayo (I do), don’t let it sit around the fridge for a week. Eat it asap, then throw the rest away. And don’t blame me if you get all sickly, I warned you.
Chef Mike’s Quick and Easy Mayonnaise
1 egg yolk
1 teaspoon Dijon mustard
1 teaspoon cider vinegar
1 pinch salt
1 pinch sugar
1 cup oil
In a large bowl, mix together all of the ingredients except the canola oil. While whisking, slowly add the oil, drop by drop, creating a white creamy emulsion. Once it starts looking like mayonnaise, you can add the oil in a thin stream (but don’t stop whisking). Once all the oil is incorporated, you may want to whisk in a tablespoon of cold water to add shine. It helps to use a really large bowl and, if your bowl isn’t heavy, put a wet towel underneath to prevent shifting (you’ll need both hands for the oil whisking process). Voila – you’ve emulsified!
If you need a little bit more challenge, go for a soufflé; I shared my favorite recipe and techniques back in April – just click here.
If all else fails, your mayonnaise breaks, and you still can’t finish the puzzle, just turn to page 46 and distract yourself with total paranoia about poisoning yourself by eating vegetables from your garden.
